Blue Goo Face

What’s your favorite kind of ice-cream? Mine is Blue Goo from Buzzy’s Dairy Bar. When daddy says we’re going to Buzzy’s for ice-cream, it’s the same as someone telling daddy that they just bought and installed an outside, in-ground hot tub for him!! This happened just last night. Not the hot tub, the ice-cream.

But I don’t like Blue Goo ice-cream when someone is trying to parent me through sarcasm towards my daddy, just after he tells me not to do something. For example, I love hanging off the counter at Buzzy’s, it has this really neat ledge that I can grip perfectly. I can hang almost all the way upside down. For some reason, which I’ll never understand, daddy told me not to do this. He tells me this every time I go, so now I just get down and do something else really neat.

But last night after he told me to get down, this lady behind him said, “Oh, doesn’t daddy know that little girls like to climb?” And then she smiled at daddy. I must tell you that I’ve never felt so empowered! Perhaps this lady should have been there the first time I tried this, then I could have been hanging off the ledge all along! But daddy’s half-smile back at her almost looked like he wasn’t in agreement with her. Strange. Or so I thought.

So daddy ordered my brother a caramel ice-cream, which was as tall as the tree in our front yard. But when mine came to the window, it was only half as big. What in the name of time is wrong with this picture? Guess who knew…? Yes…the lady behind daddy! She was like an angel from the clouds, because she said, “Hmmm, that doesn’t seem very fair now does it?” Praise whoever! What a saint! Although, daddy seemed to have a different opinion because his half smile was gone now, it was more like a full no-smile. So then daddy explained, “Alyssa, honey, the last time we came here the sun melted your ice-cream too quickly. So we’re saving a big mess by getting you an ice-cream this big.” Mmmm. Whatever.

Then the lady, moving closer to me, says, “Oh, nothing a little napkin won’t clean up.” And then she smiled even bigger this time. And all of a sudden the lady had ice-cream on her face. No, I’m just kidding, but daddy quickly passed me the ice-cream and didn’t respond to her, so I think he really wanted to smoosh it on her face, but he’s not like that, really.

Anyway, I finished my ice-cream and some of it did melt on my hands and shirt. And I learned a great lesson today. If someone starts trying to talk to your parents through you, just ignore them…perhaps your daddy will buy you a FULL sized ice-cream.

Oh, and if the lady is reading this. I'm only 4 years old, so I really don't know what I'm talking about. It's all guess work.