Q: How would you suggest that I handle those annoying telemarketers on the telephone?
A: Karen, first off I would suggest that before they even get a chance to sell you anything, ask them for their home telephone number. If they decline to give it to you, tell them you have an unbeatable proposal for them and that you'll call them when they get home. If they still decline, tell them they won't get an offer like it anywhere else. If they still decline, start asking them questions about the weather, where they live and how many kids they have; also what are their names and ages? If they hang up on you, then they weren't worth your time; don't take it personally, Karen. If they stay on the line and still try to sell you something, then hear them out for a minute. After that talk REALLY slow (like so slow even you get annoyed by it). Eventually, they will hang up; I've tried this myself.
Another thing you can do when they first call is put the phone down and go do something else. Or try placing a CD player beside the phone and play some seriously depressing elevator music and then go do something else. You can also try repeating everything they say, this would drive me NUTS and will likely cause the same result with them. My dad always just hangs up on them, but that is no fun. If they are going to come into your home via the telephone without an invitation, then you've got the right to react however you wish! It's Canada!
Failing all of this, Karen, you can register your # on the National Do Not Call List (https://www.lnnte-dncl.gc.ca/insnum-regnum-eng).
Good luck, Karen!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Question from Dean
Q: Why does E=MC (squared)?
A: Dean, I have a question for you: why does anything equal MC (squared)? Why does anything equal anything, really? E=MC (squared) because Einstein said it does! The question is: do you believe him? Why or why not? But more importantly, why do uncles ask such easy questions to their 4-year old nieces?
Specifically, E=MC (squared) means that Energy is equal to Mass times the speed of light squared. In essence, it states that there is an equivalence between mass and energy.
If you'd like to know more about the science of energy and mass, ask my younger brother...he's got tons of energy when we go to mass.
A: Dean, I have a question for you: why does anything equal MC (squared)? Why does anything equal anything, really? E=MC (squared) because Einstein said it does! The question is: do you believe him? Why or why not? But more importantly, why do uncles ask such easy questions to their 4-year old nieces?
Specifically, E=MC (squared) means that Energy is equal to Mass times the speed of light squared. In essence, it states that there is an equivalence between mass and energy.
If you'd like to know more about the science of energy and mass, ask my younger brother...he's got tons of energy when we go to mass.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Question from Beatrice
Q: My 2 sons (4 and 6 years old) are always at each other; arguing, telling on each other, hitting each other, etc. Is this normal? How should I be handling this?
A: First of all, good for you for taking the first step of actually WANTING to do something about this. Let me begin by saying any parent reading this with kids this age is saying, "Yep. Amen to that." The reason is, you're not alone. This is all normal behavior for kids this age. Except for me, because I'm perfect. But I digress.
You may want to try tactics used in my family (on my younger AND older siblings). For example, when my 6 year old brother argues with another sibling, mom and dad give him a strike. If he gets 3, then he has to go to bed early. Hit them where it hurts you know...not many kids want to go to bed early. If they are hitting each other, however, you need to call in the big guns and put them in their bedroom right away (unless there's blood or broken bones, then you need to deal with that first!). Don't forget to make them say they are sorry BEFORE you send them to their room. This makes the victim feel better!
If, on the other hand, my older brothers (9 and 11) argue or tattle, they get an instant job on the spot. This works like a charm, especially for boys, because they HATE work. We girls, on the other hand love organizing and cleaning, so you'll have to think of something different. I can't offer you help on this, as I would betray my sisterhood. If they hit each other, they get the same treatment as my younger brother, but they also get an extra 2 jobs on the spot.
Stay with it Beatrice; keep fighting the good fight. Consistency will see your children through to adulthood in one piece.
A: First of all, good for you for taking the first step of actually WANTING to do something about this. Let me begin by saying any parent reading this with kids this age is saying, "Yep. Amen to that." The reason is, you're not alone. This is all normal behavior for kids this age. Except for me, because I'm perfect. But I digress.
You may want to try tactics used in my family (on my younger AND older siblings). For example, when my 6 year old brother argues with another sibling, mom and dad give him a strike. If he gets 3, then he has to go to bed early. Hit them where it hurts you know...not many kids want to go to bed early. If they are hitting each other, however, you need to call in the big guns and put them in their bedroom right away (unless there's blood or broken bones, then you need to deal with that first!). Don't forget to make them say they are sorry BEFORE you send them to their room. This makes the victim feel better!
If, on the other hand, my older brothers (9 and 11) argue or tattle, they get an instant job on the spot. This works like a charm, especially for boys, because they HATE work. We girls, on the other hand love organizing and cleaning, so you'll have to think of something different. I can't offer you help on this, as I would betray my sisterhood. If they hit each other, they get the same treatment as my younger brother, but they also get an extra 2 jobs on the spot.
Stay with it Beatrice; keep fighting the good fight. Consistency will see your children through to adulthood in one piece.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Question from my Nana
Q: Two things I would love to know: What do you like about your father? And does he ever drive you crazy?
A: Nana, this smells like a trick question.
So here goes nothing. I like that my father writes these blog posts for me as I dictate them and make him erase every second word. He gets his writing ability from me and is getting better; he is still learning, so be patient. I like that he does pretty much anything I ask. It is amazing how all I have to do is bat my eye lashes when I want a cookie. Sometimes he says no to others but gives me a cookie if I pout. I have more tricks up my sleeve, it's hilarious. Anyway, as for things that he does that drive me crazy, I'd have to say when he tries to check on me when I am doing things. Like who does he think he is? I was helping my brothers sell hockey tickets the other day and actually had to tell dad to zip it when he said, "how are you doing, sweetheart?" How embarrassing! Or the other day when he dropped me off at Kindergarten and stood there for about 5 minutes just watching me run the class; I almost told him to stand in the corner, but I knew that he would just be confused.
Other than that, we have a pretty normal relationship, and he is the most important man in my life for now, but he is dispensable. Ha Ha!
A: Nana, this smells like a trick question.
So here goes nothing. I like that my father writes these blog posts for me as I dictate them and make him erase every second word. He gets his writing ability from me and is getting better; he is still learning, so be patient. I like that he does pretty much anything I ask. It is amazing how all I have to do is bat my eye lashes when I want a cookie. Sometimes he says no to others but gives me a cookie if I pout. I have more tricks up my sleeve, it's hilarious. Anyway, as for things that he does that drive me crazy, I'd have to say when he tries to check on me when I am doing things. Like who does he think he is? I was helping my brothers sell hockey tickets the other day and actually had to tell dad to zip it when he said, "how are you doing, sweetheart?" How embarrassing! Or the other day when he dropped me off at Kindergarten and stood there for about 5 minutes just watching me run the class; I almost told him to stand in the corner, but I knew that he would just be confused.
Other than that, we have a pretty normal relationship, and he is the most important man in my life for now, but he is dispensable. Ha Ha!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
From "Mr. Hamilton"
OK, so I got this message in my inbox from a Mr. Hamilton, who wants me to invest in a business with him in my country. Aw, that is so sweet, but unfortunately, I am only 4 years old...bankers won't take me seriously. So I thought I'd share his message with you and break it down in case he writes you too (don't hold your breath, he seems adamant that he wants ME to invest).
Here's the message:
"I am a foreign Investor, I want to invest in your country and I am writting to seek your assistance in starting a business investment in your country and execute a business plan that will benefit me and you. If you can assist me in investing my money in your country on a business investment you can manage please e-mail me with your telephone number so I can explain to you more better and give you further information. My E-mail is - frankhamiltons@msn.com"
Here's the breakdown:
I am a foreign investor...Yes, and I am Barbie. Nice to meet you. But you should never preface any paragraph with those words. Two things wrong here: 1) you are foreign, so why would you ever want me to help you with an investment? You're FOREIGN. Before the Canadian cops ever get to you, they have to swim oceans and stuff. You'll be off with my allowance like a mad hatter. 2) you are an investor. Enough said.
I want to invest in your country...Yes, and I am equally happy that you want to invest in my country and I in yours and...GIVE ME A BREAK!! You don't want to invest in my country, you want to invest in my allowance. Ain't no way your getting my bubblegum money. Swim as many oceans as you want pal; and don't insult my country, there are lots of bubblegum chewers over here - you'd be seriously outnumbered. Why don't you invest in a real job or an honest living...that's the only way to pay for Hubba Bubba.
I am writting to seek your assistance in starting a business investment in your country...really, you should hear yourself. Did you read this before you clicked SEND? You can't even spell "writing"...you're probably younger than me for all I know! And where would I ever get enough capitol to help you start on our glorious adventure? It would never work anyway; I only invest in gum, Barbie dolls, and hair clips. Get over it.
...that will benefit me and you. Take the you, and, will, that, and benefit out of that sentence and what do you have left? That's right spammer, in case you can't follow process of elimination, it says YOU. YOU would take my bubblegum money and YOU wouldn't care. That's how pathetic this whole charade is...you'd take money from a 4 year old. What about my future? What about all the dresses I will need in life? What about my education as a lawyer so I can stop people trying to invest in nothing?
If you can assist me in investing my money in your country on a business investment you can manage...Holy cow, you are a hoser. You sound like dad trying to win an argument against mom. Sales pitch lesson from a 4 year old #1: make me believe you.
Please e-mail me with your telephone number so I can explain to you more better and give you further information. While I'm at it Frank, why don't I send you the whole phonebook? Would that help you Frank? I am here for you my brother from another mother. I would like to include my social insurance number, my diary, safety deposit box key, and my package of Hubba Bubba...just in case you lose the phone book. Hopefully that will make you realize just how committed I am to this venture. Frank, I won't let you down.
My E-mail is - frankhamiltons@msn.com. Yep, and mine is iamasuckertakeallmygummoney@totallyhereforyoufrank.com
Wierdo.
Here's the message:
"I am a foreign Investor, I want to invest in your country and I am writting to seek your assistance in starting a business investment in your country and execute a business plan that will benefit me and you. If you can assist me in investing my money in your country on a business investment you can manage please e-mail me with your telephone number so I can explain to you more better and give you further information. My E-mail is - frankhamiltons@msn.com"
Here's the breakdown:
I am a foreign investor...Yes, and I am Barbie. Nice to meet you. But you should never preface any paragraph with those words. Two things wrong here: 1) you are foreign, so why would you ever want me to help you with an investment? You're FOREIGN. Before the Canadian cops ever get to you, they have to swim oceans and stuff. You'll be off with my allowance like a mad hatter. 2) you are an investor. Enough said.
I want to invest in your country...Yes, and I am equally happy that you want to invest in my country and I in yours and...GIVE ME A BREAK!! You don't want to invest in my country, you want to invest in my allowance. Ain't no way your getting my bubblegum money. Swim as many oceans as you want pal; and don't insult my country, there are lots of bubblegum chewers over here - you'd be seriously outnumbered. Why don't you invest in a real job or an honest living...that's the only way to pay for Hubba Bubba.
I am writting to seek your assistance in starting a business investment in your country...really, you should hear yourself. Did you read this before you clicked SEND? You can't even spell "writing"...you're probably younger than me for all I know! And where would I ever get enough capitol to help you start on our glorious adventure? It would never work anyway; I only invest in gum, Barbie dolls, and hair clips. Get over it.
...that will benefit me and you. Take the you, and, will, that, and benefit out of that sentence and what do you have left? That's right spammer, in case you can't follow process of elimination, it says YOU. YOU would take my bubblegum money and YOU wouldn't care. That's how pathetic this whole charade is...you'd take money from a 4 year old. What about my future? What about all the dresses I will need in life? What about my education as a lawyer so I can stop people trying to invest in nothing?
If you can assist me in investing my money in your country on a business investment you can manage...Holy cow, you are a hoser. You sound like dad trying to win an argument against mom. Sales pitch lesson from a 4 year old #1: make me believe you.
Please e-mail me with your telephone number so I can explain to you more better and give you further information. While I'm at it Frank, why don't I send you the whole phonebook? Would that help you Frank? I am here for you my brother from another mother. I would like to include my social insurance number, my diary, safety deposit box key, and my package of Hubba Bubba...just in case you lose the phone book. Hopefully that will make you realize just how committed I am to this venture. Frank, I won't let you down.
My E-mail is - frankhamiltons@msn.com. Yep, and mine is iamasuckertakeallmygummoney@totallyhereforyoufrank.com
Wierdo.
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