Monday, October 6, 2008

Question from Beatrice

Q: My 2 sons (4 and 6 years old) are always at each other; arguing, telling on each other, hitting each other, etc. Is this normal? How should I be handling this?

A: First of all, good for you for taking the first step of actually WANTING to do something about this. Let me begin by saying any parent reading this with kids this age is saying, "Yep. Amen to that." The reason is, you're not alone. This is all normal behavior for kids this age. Except for me, because I'm perfect. But I digress.

You may want to try tactics used in my family (on my younger AND older siblings). For example, when my 6 year old brother argues with another sibling, mom and dad give him a strike. If he gets 3, then he has to go to bed early. Hit them where it hurts you know...not many kids want to go to bed early. If they are hitting each other, however, you need to call in the big guns and put them in their bedroom right away (unless there's blood or broken bones, then you need to deal with that first!). Don't forget to make them say they are sorry BEFORE you send them to their room. This makes the victim feel better!

If, on the other hand, my older brothers (9 and 11) argue or tattle, they get an instant job on the spot. This works like a charm, especially for boys, because they HATE work. We girls, on the other hand love organizing and cleaning, so you'll have to think of something different. I can't offer you help on this, as I would betray my sisterhood. If they hit each other, they get the same treatment as my younger brother, but they also get an extra 2 jobs on the spot.

Stay with it Beatrice; keep fighting the good fight. Consistency will see your children through to adulthood in one piece.

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