Moms, Hurricanes, and Hormones

Q: Why do kids always blame their mothers for all their problems? I think I’m a pretty good mom and hopefully we can get through the teenage years in one piece.

A: Do you want the Freudian answer or the 7 year old answer? If you want the Freudian answer, it's because parents are to blame for the way their kids turn out. And since "turning out" has it's problems (as well as successes), then parents are blamed psychologically by their kids even at a very young age. And being human, we tend to blame things on everybody else anyway. AND...since moms are typically the primary caregivers, kids tend to blame them more often because they're usually around to blame more often. And if you think you're getting blamed these days, just WAIT until your kids become teenagers. Think of a tornado in the middle of a hurricane that's in the middle of a typhoon, that's in the middle of a comet storm, that's in the middle of hormones and that time of the month, that's in the middle of your kitchen and living room. That's what your in for.

Now, if you want the 7 year old version, it's because kids are innocent and always right, and the world revolves around their very psyches because reason and accountability haven't developed quite yet, so there's really no capacity there to accept real blame. Sorry, that's more from a 39 year old. Here's the real 7 year old version: who else can I blame??? SOMEBODY has to take the heat!!!

Now, it seems as if the last part of your question is almost a plea for peace during the teenage years you are heading for. It seems as if you're almost begging your daughter or son to "go easy" on you. Well, since I'm 7 - if my mother asked me to go easy, I'd say no problem - I'll never treat her the way some girls treat their mothers on TV. But the girls on TV are older than me, so in all honesty, I couldn't make any promises! And if you're really my mom asking ME to go easy on you, then I'm going to take my get out of jail free card when I turn 14 because I can only hope for the best at 7 years old.

Good luck to all you mothers who are approaching teenage-hood. Take my advice - just help the poor sods through it. By the way, chances are you're probably doing a stellar job, but your kids won't realize the scope of your efforts until they have their own kids...and if you're lucky enough and stay involved with your kids...they might just even tell you someday.