Hockey Aliens

Q: Why do people get so worked up at hockey games?

A: That's good question. Hockey is definitely a culture in and of itself. As soon as you step through the rink doors, it's like aliens take over your body and you become someone who normally wouldn't yell at someone but can't resist screaming at a referee for a bad call he makes on your son or your friends son or the son of someone on the other team in a totally different rink. If you think about it, it's the one place that 2 guys can wallop the snot out of each other and a police officer can be standing 2 feet away from them and still be cheering them on.

One guy can get rammed head-first into the boards, be down for like 2 minutes, and when he stops crying long enough to just stand up, everyone in the rink cheers and claps as a way of saying, "yeah, way to be, good for you for being a good sport and standing up without vomiting first, I think I'll bang my stick on the boards to salute you even though I just punched the crap out of your teammate..." It's like why do people sing the national anthem and get all gushy and patriotic and moved and then yell "game on" and say "you're going down suckers!"?? And they watch players smash other players over benches, into glass, boards, other players, etc. Isn't that kind of like ancient Roman times? Or some kind of Barbarianism? What does that word mean anyway? Dad just told me it fits in this context. Oh yeah, that helps dad. Context.

Anyway, back to hockey. I saw a guy buying a hockey stick one day at SportChek and he was standing there for like 20 minutes with the same stick looking up and down the blade and the handle part as if he was forecasting every awesome play he would make and what angle he had to have the stick to make his 500th NHL goal. Hello??? It's a piece of WOOD. And why does hockey have to be so calculated? By that I mean, people actually WANT to let aliens take them over when they go into the rink - they are actually looking forward to the circus event. And then there are the guys in the stands in huge rinks that yell so hard that their arteries harden...the players CAN'T HEAR YOU. If you take away the stands, the ice, the rink, and the people, and you put you in a library or a church, or a funeral, you'd look hilarious.

I just don't get it. But I think people get so worked up in hockey games because that's why hockey was invented - it's a place to legally get your frustrations out. What's the worse thing that can happen? A referee points to the door and you walk out of it. Oooooooooh. Scary.

This video says it all...